Caretaking happens when your well intentioned help goes awry. It shows itself everywhere, you may caretake a parent, which is probably where you learned the behavior. Then, as the years go by, you’re taking care of everyone around you! And you may notice, your well intentioned advice is not followed, your suggestions for problem resolution are not received, your jumping in and doing someone else’s work for them is often not appreciated.
Often caretakers are really good at doing for others but lack the self-awareness to know and meet their own needs. Perhaps you take care of others as a way to feel needed or safe, in control even. Whatever the reason, caretaking leaves you exhausted, lacking time and resources for your own life. Letting go of caretaking is no easy task. But with dedicated observation and practice, this pattern can change, bringing you freedom and sovereignty, enjoying healthy relationships.
I want to share a story about ‘Laurel’. She came into my practice a year ago to work on her caretaking pattern. She felt exhausted and depleted from her need to caretake and control others’ experiences. She had an unhealthy pattern of giving herself away, meeting others needs at her own expense. When it came to receiving from others? She was uncomfortable and felt guilty, even ashamed to receive help and support from others..
She was frequently asked to do more than what was required in her job description – without additional pay. The boss kept asking, and she never said no. All the while, her co-workers were paid for their extra efforts.
Beyond that, Laurel was looked upon as the friend or family member who would listen and problem solve for others for hours, leaving her with little energy for her own issues and life.
“Caretaking is exhausting, and a one-way street. The good news is, it’s treatable. In fact, it’s an energy issue that can be observed, monitored and resolved.” Jill Leigh, Energy Healing Institute
Once she realized that this was not the life she wanted, we partnered together to break through this debilitating pattern. She came in weekly, getting on the table for energy clearing, and learning and applying skills to continue the work at home. Caretaking generally involves three specific chakras that are misaligned, driven by a pattern held in the aura. Together we cleared the energetic pattern from her chakras and aura.
Recently, she was able to speak up and say no to her boss. She indicated that she would expect extra pay for her work in the same way that her peers were compensated.
She now listens and supports her friends as they resolve their problems, rather than feeling responsible for meeting their needs.
An added benefit – she’s back to the theater, and out in her garden, doing things that she loves, that feed her sense of self!
Way to go Laurel, you found your boundaries, value and alignment!
With dedicated, committed observation, regulation and clearing of your energy field, you can return to tending to your own experiences and balancing the give and take in relationships. You can find alignment within yourself for meeting your own needs and trusting others to meet theirs.
Perhaps something in this client case resonates or speaks to you. Do you find yourself over-giving and caretaking?
Let’s talk about it! Tell me your thoughts in the comments below. I’d be honored to support your healing.